Saturday, February 28, 2009

AKON, Sweetheart, You SUCK!

Saturday, February 28, 2009 3
When I first saw the "AKON" ad on I was like "are you fucking kiddin' me ?!".
I like the guy since he first started, he has some nice music and one of my favorite remixes for my step class is actually to that "Belly-Dancer" of his ..

I so wanted to go, I actually started advising people to go, talking about how "easy" it is to buy the tickets online from the same website (which turned out to be a problem and I eventually went to buy the tickets from a restaurant - huh?! - then I had to go exchange them before the concert - double huh?! - to be able to go to the concert).

so, needless to say, I convinced 6 other people to come with me to that concert looking for some fun in a weekend!

OK, here's a list of what went wrong:
1 - there's no such a thing as organized entry, you need to fight, and you need to fight low and dirty to get in.

2 - the metal detector was going nuts every time someone passes, but of course, no one cared less, it's less than a week after the Khan El-Khalili explosion, and AKON is not so Islamic-Friendly singer, let's say.

3 - the music was NEVER loud enough, I could carry a normal conversation between me and my friends like we're in a bar, all what we were missing is the beer, which we were not allowed to bring in.

4 - the VIP stage fell down under the people who paid a 1000 LE to get there, some people were send to the hospital.

5 - we were there at 7.30, Mr. AKON was suppose to be on stage at 8.30, he showed up at 12.40 am, FOUR FUCKING HOURS LATE.

6 - one of the so-called-DJs who filled the gap actually played a 1998 Will Smith song, cool, right ?! (Yeah, 11 years ago).

7 - DJ Feedoo decided to show us how great of DJ he's, went on lip-syncing couple of songs he wrote, one of them called "Cairo" you know, the cute thing was actually that his mic wasn't working, he noticed that after the end of his act. (he looked like a jerk).

8 - Melissa, who's a nobody, showed up to sing two songs, one of them was a summer hit, two summers ago.

9 - Mr. AKON's show lasted for 25 minutes.

10 - After taking his clothes off, Mr.Akon started building a bridge of Peace (he calls it) to carwd surf the people to the end of the place (why?! God Knows), had such a butterfly effect that you cannot imagine:

  • Mr.AKON screaming like a girl "HELP ME!! HELP ME!" in the mic, it seems to me that Egyptian "fans" are more scary than prison inmates.
  • two small light stages fall down on the crowds, later on, the wood that those stages are made of was used by AKON bodyguards to push the "fans" away. (with nails and all).
  • Mr.AKON started punching people in the face and in the arms after some people tried to pull down his underwear.
  • 2 smashed cars, AKON used as a final way to run from "fans" who kept trying to reach him, resulting in a very interesting pumps in the cars.
  • a final song from Mr.AKON and then he went to the after-party somewhere else, where - I'm sure - he'll get more drunk and high.
so, licking our wounds and cursing the day we thought to go to such a shitous party, we walked our way home, and first thing I did when I reached home, was deleting all the illegally downloaded music I have for Mr.AKON from my Ipod and my laptop.

it actually made me feel better.
you can find more about this subject on this link, this link, and this link.
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